Billie, I'll take my mustard please

Already on my plate I have:
Understanding the 72 sexual cycle of men
Allowing my husband to lead our family---remembering when he doesn't it STILL isn't my responsibility to step up. 
Submitting to him, for him. 
I was of the understanding I was going to become rather passive from this project and the struggle began.  Sure, for a few days the idea was appealing.  God showed me there was so much more than just shutting my mouth (have you met me?!) and opening my heart to Christ.  Each day a new ball was pitched to me, I had no idea whether to hit it or wait for a better one. 
I love my husband very much.  I want the best for him.  He has no idea how full of potential he is, with himself, with his family, with Christ.  I love him so much I want to beat him over the head with his potential.
I can see it so clearly and I pray he too, may be filled with excitement at the wonderful journeys lying ahead for us, experiencing them all with Christ. 
I want to do this for my husband, for God.  I have just been in the bit of an exhausting struggle with life still happening around me.  If only I could freeze certain activity so I could have more time to absorb what I'm trying to swallow.  I know I can win this battle, not alone.   Afterall, I have me, God, and this mighty yet uninvited elephant.