Clueless

My husband had no idea there were even rules for husbands in the Bible.  After he read them last night he apologized to me.  He had no idea.  I have expressed my feelingst to him, none of which have ever been regarded.  I have expressed how I am feeling hurt, neglected, ignored, and so on.  Last night he admitted me to me he ignored me.  He never even listened to me, he figured I was "just complaining" more.  He's never taken my feelings into consideration. 
I expressed to him how I have felt as though I'm not needed in this marriage, and he understood what I meant.  Over the past few weeks, I have learned my husband used to seek out other women to ogle.  Thinking it's okay to fantasize about them when he has a wife at home.  He has also expressed he used to do this.  Especially since he's learned how it can/has tainted our marriage bed.  A hard pill to swallow for sure.  My husband is it for me, why is it so hard to be it back?  I don't look at other men, and I certainly don't fantasize about them. 
In our marriage prayer class, our last chapter was describing the roles in marriages.  Already aware of who is in what role, we knew work had to be done.  I have (obviously) already started working on falling into God's divine order of families and submitting to my husband.  It hasn't been easy.  My husband, has yet to begin.  I am going to pray for him.  Pray he is able to find his answers in God's word.  Pray he will be able to lead his family with faith.  Pray he has the faith to lead his family. 
Yesterday, I stumbled upon a 30 day marriage challenge.  Today I have decided I'm going to tell him I'm glad I'm his wife.  I haven't decided yet how though I'll send him off to work with it.  Helping him start his day knowing he's in the right place.  That's an easy step.  I can do this.  He can do this.

One good thing my husband did today:  Prayed I would get some rest.