Heart Replacement

First off, before I begin...I posted another blog last night.   Just FYI.

Yesterday was turning out all wrong.  I was starting my new mini project, I didn't want to fight with my husband.  I was tired, he worked late, I was making dinner, he slipped.  I was trying to talk to him, and without even thinking, my husband accused me of being the way I used to be.  He dipped his toes in the water to test it, a pool where I would normally love to dive in!  I turned my head and began crying.  I'm an angry crier.  He walked away waiting for the aftershock of what he started.  I began praying to God asking Him to help me.  God provided exactly what I needed to move forward.  In time, after discussion and gentle nudges from a treasured friend, I kissed my husband on the cheek and thanked him for bathing the boys.  "I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have said that to you and reacted the way I did."  He replied. 
The entire evening all I had was the little mini project in my head.  I can't move forward if I am mad at him.  I can't move forward feeling this way.  Wanting to fight so badly, I resisted and moved forward.  I slipped away for a short time, prayed, and asked God to help me with communication.  I needed to tell my husband certain things and I had no idea what to say or how to say it.  I walked back into the house and God had already begun anwering my prayer.
We are taking a marriage class at our church.  The book we are reading is called The Marriage Prayer.  Our chapter study for this week was about roles in the marriage, following God's divine order in the family.  I had already begun working on my part: submission.  I have been struggling with letting your husband take the lead.  Before last night, I used to think:  If my husband isn't going to step up and be the leader of this family, someone has to.  Not me!  No where in the Bible does this idea form.  My husband is having a difficult time separating being a servant leader of our family with being a dictator.  Facial expressions, word tones, body language, all indicating to me he was very uncomfortable.  I prayed for him with him last night.  He was amazed, thanked me, and seemed as though weight was taken off his shoulders.  God showed me how to communicate what I wanted to tell my husband through prayer.  Praise Him!!  After we prayed, we were able to open our communication lines some more.  After we prayed God provided me with exactly the right words, the right way, at the right time for my husband.  After we prayed my husband knew I was lying next to him last night.

One Good Thing My Husband Did Today:  Bathed two of the kids while I was making dinner.