The Night is Long

I wanted to spend the day in prayer.
I didn't.
I was too busy.
Pastor Jake reminds us nothing we do is more important than spending time in the Word.  I needed the Word and did not find it until evening.  I needed to spend time in prayer to devise my battle plan.  Being too busy left me vulnerable and weak for the attack.  A storm had built itself around me, enveloped me, wrapped me in its cold damp hands.  I wanted to deliver the final blow and God stopped me.  Frustration and tears building-I prayed.  Telling God I needed him, I needed him now.  Begging mercilessly.  Elbows on the counter, hands holding my tear stained face.  The temptation to jump was so easy knowing I could fall into God's grace later.  One blow of His breath and the storm was gone.  For now.  The cold damp hands replaced by an embrace of our Father.  His lighthouse standing strong, unwaivered by the storm. 
I want to badly to tell my husband how hard I am working.  I want him to take the weight off my shoulders and bear some of my load.  God has not called him.  My words would act as a wrench in this process, breaking the course God has set before me.
I will fall asleep in His strong arms.
I will be warmed by the Holy Spirit inside me.
I will awaken to the calm.
I will not fall to the enemy. 

One good thing my husband did this evening:  ate sour cream in the dinner I made and admitted he likes it.