Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder...

But in a marriage?  Over the past week a deep distance has been becoming between my husband and I.  I'm not even aware of how it has happened.  The beginning of the week proved to be englightening for us.  He had seen part of my blog and was aware of how much I loved him.  At least he said as much.  One night we even read the Bible together.  Yes, it was awkward and I was so tired to get into great discussions or share much insight.  I thought it would be something we would work on together even slowly.  I think part of the problem was I expected something.  I had felt this would be a great week where we would take a small step in our faith walk together.  I couldn't have been more wrong.
The week proved to be a time to grow apart.  I have felt completely off synch with my heart, with my husband.  I made attempts to discuss my feelings with my husband.  Discuss not argue.  Each attempt frustrating, pushing us farther apart.  My husband would roll his eyes, sigh and pretend to listen.  I felt so hurt he was unwilling to work on us. 
The next morning I was distant.  Yet still containing the desire to move forward in our marriage.  I made small attempts with my husband.  In return, he got up and left early for work.  Not only was I feeling low on his list, I was now aware I was still below his work.  I sat on the floor, tears dripping from my cheeks, I looked up at the door hoping he would come back in and know I was hurting.  Wrong again.
I would also like to add, I believe this was the second day I chose not to read the Bible.  Somehow I still believe I can skip a day or two and nothing will come of it.  Wrong again. 
Not only was I feeling distant from my husband, I was creating a terrible distance between myself and God.  The fire I was feeling for the Lord in the beginning of the week was dwindling down below a low roar.  I knew deep down I needed to grab some time with Him and listen to what He was trying to tell me.  This entire passage from Galations 6:7-9 describes my week.  "Do not be deceived; God is not mocked, for you reap whatever you sow.  If you sow to your own flesh, you will reap corruption from the flesh; but if you sow to the Spirit, you will reap eternal life from the Spirit.  So let us not grow weary in doing what is right, for we will reap at harvest time, if we do not give up."  (NRSV)
I'm not saying because I chose not to spent time with the Lord did he cause this to happen in our marriage, I'm conveying my realization of how quickly we are no longer filled with the Spirit when we do not recharge ourselves daily.  Had I spent more time with the Lord, He would have given me the tools necessary to push through another day with my husband.  The man God himself designed specificially for me. 

One Good Thing My Husband Did:  Helped get the kids ready that night.