Thick Fog

I have taken quite a break from this blogject in both writing and in my home life.  I have no idea what has come over me these past few weeks.  Here I am, ready to start all over again.  A proverbial "do over" as we said when we were kids.  This past week has been tiring; physically, spiritually, mentally.  Admittedly, I have barely prayed to God, barely spent any special time with Him as I so enjoy.  I would look at my Bible and say, "just one more thing and then..."  This happend all week.  One day though, I did try.  Everything I read made no sense and didn't apply to me at the time.  I knew in my heart my prayers weren't heartfelt, it was better than nothing, a start if you will.  When I was done with my "one more thing" I just wanted to sit and enjoy the quiet I worked so hard for.  The quiet God provided for me, opening his arms, asking me to come and spend some time with Him.  I felt ashamed for ignoring His invitation. 
I felt like I was losing my mind this evening.  The flip side of the coin was my husband and I were actually enjoying family time for the first time in what seemed to be an eternity. 
In our marriage class we covered a part teaching us how husbands need to pull their wives in closer when the wives are angry or hurt.  The concept is easy to grasp and difficult to implement.  Tonight, for the first time ever I reminded my husband and he obliged!  He kneeled down next to me on the couch, put his arm around me and prayed for me.  Just beforehand, I looked at him and confessed how I felt as though I have forgotten how to pray.  The distance growing between us was not only my husband's fault, but mine too.  It just took me this long to see it.  My husband has tried prayer this week together and I felt I had nothing to add.  He was right for saying he needed to pray.  I was feeling rather self righteous and didn't need our Father like he did.  Not only did I need him as well, I probably needed him more.  I turned my back when I needed to run in their direction.  I will work harder this week to bridge the gap.  I know I need to open my heart to the Lord and stop putting "one more thing" in between He and I. 

One good thing my husband did:  He prayed for me when I couldn't pray for myself.