Communication without Words

I have a study Bible.  I love it, and think everyone should have at least one.  This morning I have figured out what to get my husband for his birthday especially after last night when he asked me, "How do you study the Bible?"  The question stunned me.  Stunned me because studying my Bible is becoming second nature yet my husband still needs assistance. 
In our marriage class a suggestion to spend time with your spouse is to give them twenty minutes of your day.  Twenty minutes.  We have three children and by nighttime, my husband is falling asleep shortly after they are.  I think I appreciate the quiet more than he does, so I like to stay awake God willing. 
I have noticed me waking my husband up in the mornings before his alarm goes off so I may get some shower time, and time with the Lord.  Why not use that time for our twenty minutes?  While doing the dishes this morning, I expressed to my husband how sorry I was for seeming confrontational yesterday morning.  Aggressive if you will.  All I wanted to do was make conversation.  I asked God to let me try again this morning.  The barriers weren't put up this morning until about four minutes before my husband left for work.  Four minutes.  Frustrated with myself yet again for making my husband feel berated, I opened my Bible.
This morning I choose "Communication" from the index.  One of the topics with the most choices.  Feeling the gentle nudge from God, the this pages rolled through my fingertips and stopped at 42.  The topic of discussion was nonverbal communication. 
The exerpt tells us 58 percent of our communication is nonverbal.  The way we say things accounts for 35 percent of our message.  Our words are only contributing to seven percent of our entire message!  Astounding.  Completely what I needed to see today.  God is showing me how yes, I want to communicate more with my husband, I need to be more aware of how I'm going about it. 
In conversing, we need to be aware of our tone, the wording and how we go about getting our words out.  In listening, I wish my husband would do more than stare and me and grace me with the occasional nodding of his head.  God will help us. 
Yesterdays conversation was more like an interrogation.  This morning's conversation started out well and quickly jumped to condescending.  My husband blankly staring at me.  Four minutes.  In four minutes I went from preparing to send him off to work, to changing his entire mood and talking down to him over pettiness. 
Pastor Jake explained in his message Sunday about having peace in our lives.  If we let the devil get our peace, he will destroy our relationship with God.  How many times do I get worked up over the small things and the devil taints my heart and mind like a drop of oil to water. 
I want peace in my marriage.  I do not want contamination.  I am being reminded more and more this week how much I am the contaminant. 

James 4:2-3  "You do not have because you do not ask God.  When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives."  (NIV)
This verse is keeping me mindful of my prayer time with the Lord.  Choosing with care, the words I use and needs I express to Him. 

Though I feel no difference overall in my marriage by levels of frustration than I did last week, I have spent time in God's word, walking and talking with Him.  Peace and joy from the Lord are replacing the pungency.

Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope full you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  (NIV)

I am working to be more obedient to our Father and respectful to my husband by working out my kinks.  Choosing peace in my marriage over pettiness.  God is good. 


One good thing my husband did:  Got our sheets from the dryer and made our bed without being asked.