Give to Get

How many times have we not given to our spouse loving acts because we feel we won't receive it in return?  My husband and I have had this argument many, many times.  In discussion, I have told my husband what I wanted what I needed from him to feel important, loved, cherished by him.  In our marriage, I have been left feeling alone and needing him to come through for me.  Showing me no matter what cards we are dealt he will be there fighting with me and for me when I cannot.
Many are aware of the five love languages:  Words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch.  My husband's love language is physical touch.  Not in the in the bedroom sense.   I remember not wanting to hug, kiss, hold hands, rub his back anything meeting his love language needs.  I felt if he wanted me to do that for him, I should want to.  Afterall, how could I want to when I was feeling alone, uncherished, unloved?  I believed HE should be the one to initiate the sequence of giving before I should. 
Reality is, somewhere I still believe this to be true.  God is showing me through is Word as proof and this blogject for my realization I need to give regardless if I'm getting. 
This leads be back to my earlier post of receving my deepest needs from God.  Asking Him to provide me with the tools necessary to be a Godly wife for my husband.  The problem lies, I want some of my reward here on Earth.  I believe becoming a submissive wife and respecting my husband on a constant basis will be rewarding here on Earth, and my husband will eventually achieve what I want in our marriage for us.  I also need to realize what I want now from him may not be what God desires of my husband for me.  I will remember to open my heart and open my mind to God's will, not my own.