Reflection

After I wrote my first entry today, I wanted to talk to my husband.  Nothing in particular, just converse.  My intentions were well and good, my plan of attack was not well executed.  I was rushed and should have prayed before speaking.  Time was not on our side, so I jumped right in.  At a time where I was trying to make light but important conversation, I created a mildly hostile environment.  No, we did not argue, we let the thick tension between us harden instead of soften.  We did not separate angry as we so often have, we just separated on an odd note.  I should have been gentler with my words.  My husband suggested praying before he left, and the prayer was even cold and ugly.  There was no thanksgiving and love towards our Father, and because I was hardening my heart towards my husband I did not want to hold his hand and pray together and I wanted.  I sneered at his words to the Lord and apologized to God for the way he sounded.  I will spend more time with the Lord myself today in prayer and in his Word.  I look forward to softening the air between my husband and myself.  I cannot sit back and wait for him to do it, when I am most likely the main reason as to why we are in this tangled web in the first place.  I will look to the Lord for the answers.

One good thing my husband did:  Didn't run out the door for work, he stayed and talked to me for a few minutes.