Wardrobe Malfunction

Submission in a marriage can mean so many things.  I remember hearing the word Submission a long time ago and associating it with being weak, dependent, and having no feeling of self.  I was raised by a single mother.  A strong and fierce woman who could take the world on and never know her own strengths.  Though my mother believed in God, I don't think she ever took the time to really fellowship with Him.    Now, when I look back, it's wasn't solely my mother who pulled herself up.  God delivered my mother through tough times.  I remember a friend of her's told me after she passed away, she never had to worry about me with my future husband.  (we were married a few months after she died)  "Tammy wears the pants in that relationship, she'll be fine."  She said.  I ate that sentence up so quickly, I continued to reside in the pants wearing role for years.  I'm finally changing clothes.  What my mother failed to see was how much we need to be dependent upon another being.  Especially dependent upon our Father.  He wants us to need Him!  Matthew 21:22 tell us, "Whatever you ask for in prayer with faith, you will receive."  (New Revised Standard Version)  I have not spent much time in prayer asking God to transform me into my role as a submissive wife.  Yes, I spend time in prayer.  Though I'm forgetting I need to take this to my Father.  I know, I believe, I'm doing God's will by desiring my role; yet I will not be delivered if I do not ask.  This realization may very well be what has been hindering my heart to follow the will of God.  I am aware of the trials, I am aware how my tongue isn't tamed.  I am now also aware God is longing for me to come to Him and ask for more.  More strength, more patience, more appreciation for submission in my marriage.  I am so thankful God showed me that night in the coffee shop almost a month ago the start of how he wanted me to be in my marriage.  In the beginning, I thought that would be enough.  I am so thankful God is unveiling slowly just how I am to go about this blogject.  I like tasks completed immediately, I am not a waiter.  God is teaching me through his will, the realization of reconstructing my words to actions. I am unaware exactly how He will do this with me, I am faithful he will be guiding my journey.  God truly is amazing, and everyday more light is shining upon Him through my new and growing love and admiration.  His Word is right:  "I can do all things through him who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13 (NRSV)

One Good Thingn My Husband Did:  Got up with our early rising son without moaning.  (And since I got up too, we enjoyed a few minutes of peace together)